We got hit by a nasty storm last night. South Austin wasn't hit quite as bad as up north - winds of up to 60 mph (96 km/h) and baseball-sized hail and bigger. There was one fatality and a lot of damage, but certain other parts of the country have had it far worse as of late.

I'm finally getting around to reading the Masnavi of Rumi, which I've been trying to get myself to start for years. Reading can make me really tired.

My new psychiatrist put me on Cymbalta, an antidepressant I've tried before. I'm only taking the lower dose of 30 mg/day to be safe; I was taking 60 last time and it was causing some problems. There are a few side effects I'd like to do without, like insomnia and jitteriness, but I think it's helping. I'm not as angry, panicky and generally emo as I was before at least.

When not manic, I have so-called atypical depression, which manifests itself not so much in sadness as it does in irritability. I can also do have increased appetite and hypersomnia. I have had melancholic depression, the kind where you're constantly sad and don't want to eat or sleep. I don't miss it one bit.

The majority of my depression is still caused by a lack of mobility and ability to do a lot of things, only made worse by a lack of social contact.

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You know what it's like when you're dozing off, but you don't quite fall asleep? You're conscious, or at least semi-conscious, but you start dreaming at the same time. Or your mind starts going on its own; you start thinking thoughts that may or may not make sense, but when you're fully awake, you forget what was going through your mind.

I wish I knew how to put myself in a half-awake, half-asleep state and stay there for a while. I'd imagine it would be similar to having a vivid hallucination, so it might be risky if the "dream" thoughts become disturbing.

I wonder if it would be closer to a trance state, or lucid dreaming (that's when you're asleep, but your'e aware you're dreaming and you have a degree of control over the dream). I would also be less self-conscious and afraid, which could also be risky, if I think I can wrestle cars on I-35 or something.

But it does consist of restlessness, racing thoughts and an inability to stop what I'm doing and GO TO SLEEP.

My sleep schedule is all wrong again. I've spent all night studying, since I'm addicted to learning. I forgot to eat, and felt the effects of low blood sugar.

I also have anger and resentment which I wish I didn't have. I got to thinking the world is against me, that because I have a so-called "disability" and a tendency towards nonconformity and eccentricity, it makes me unworthy of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And there is that temptation to get mad at God. I really feel frustrated at not being able to succeed in something.

I'm also sick of being alone. I haven't had much luck with marriage and relationships either. I honestly don't know what to do in such situations, or I don't feel like it anyway. I may be an intellectual genius, but I'm still a social moron.

It's definitely not mania of the typical sort. I'm still depressed, or maybe it's dysphoric mania, a type of mixed state.

I highly recommend this blog.

Liz Spikol is an editor for the Philadelphia Weekly (and a former UT-Austin student) who writes on her own struggle with bipolar disorder, surviving ECT, health policy, politics and her Jewish family. She was recently written about in an article HuffPo, which includes a video introduction.

John Edwards is about to officially endorse Barack Obama. This after weeks of unofficially endorsing Barack Obama.

Update: At around 7 pm ET, John Edwards officially endorsed Barack Obama.

Comment: I'd have liked to have seen this endorsement back when it mattered for the Democraic race. Maybe this will help Obama win back working-class White voters before the general elections.

"THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE" (1936) Photo Gallery

Here is a link to the 1936 Errol Flynn movie I had written a review about some four months ago - "THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE"

Well since the general election contest is pretty much set, the bets are on who will be the two candidates' running mates. Will Thomas of HuffPo lists his favorites for Sen. Obama.

I'm no expert, but here are my picks in order:

1. Gov. Bill Richardson (D-NM)
2. Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA)
3. Gen. Wesley Clark (US Army-Ret.)

It was a tough choice between Richardson and Webb, but I think Richardson is the best choice. I prefer a Governor, and he's Governor of a swing state, strong in executive experience, and being Latino, he can make Florida, Colorado and even Texas more winnable. Sure, he's not a good debater, but if Vice Presidential debates were that important to voters, Michael Dukakis might've won in 1988 after our late Sen. Lloyd Bentsen cleaned Dan Quayle's clock.

Also, if Webb is picked, he'll have to give up his Senate seat if he's elected, and we can't guarantee he won't be replaced by a Republican in a state like Virginia. The Dem majority in the Senate is a very slim one, remember.

I also considered Sen. Hagel, but a bipartisan ticket might be too risky. I'd consider him for Cabinet, however. I also like Gov. Sebelius, if only people knew her better outside of Kansas. Just don't pick Hillary, for God's sake.

Gov. Rick "Governor For Life" Perry, on why we should give him a third term:

"I look at it like this, is that if Texas were a corporation — and we would be one of the most efficient, most successful corporations in the world — and if you're a stockholder in that corporation, why in the world would you want to change your CEO when things are going well?"

No comment. Okay one comment - ANYBODY BUT PERRY IN 2010.

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This morning, I'm rediscovering one of my favorite singers: the late Pakistani qawwali master Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. There's a documentary about him on YouTube:

This is part 1 of 8; the rest: 2 3 4 5 6 7 8.

I'm also working on my just-for-fun IAL project, doing the long, hard and tedious work: the vocabulary. I'm starting with the Swadesh list and translations into the world's major languages (including Urdu); the 850-word list from Ogden's Basic English comes next.

cary grant & katharine hepburn
clark gable & vivien leigh
bette davis
irene dunne
judy garland
paulette goddard




HERE @ tinselcity

31 Avatars
2 Misc.
10 BAngel
14 Retro (Robin Hood & Stage Door)
5 Supernatural/Dean

credit not required, but appreciated
please comment; tell me which #s you're snagging, if any
enjoy!!!

PREVIEW


all here

This month is Mental Health Awareness Month, so the LiveJournal team is offering users a chance to support the Depression and Bipolar Alliance, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping improve the lives of those suffering from mood disorders. Proceeds from purchases of the Emerging Sun v-gift during May will be donated to the DBSA, so feel free to buy one. Or, if you really want to rack up some good karma points, get a bunch!

And don't forget: Mother's Day is this Sunday. Be a dear and check out the v-gifts shop. Send something that'll make her smile.


L to R: Emerging Sun, #1 Mom, Gift Basket, Chocolates, A Dozen Red Roses


We know how you salivate over the prospect of new themes, especially when they're designed by users with a unique handle on both form and function.


L to R: Shiny, River at Night, Live and Learn, Vector Drips.

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We'd like to remind you that the nomination process for LiveJournal Advisory Board user-representatives has begun. If you think you're fit for the job, now's the time to nominate yourself! After all, you're the only who can do it. In two weeks, on the 22nd, the voting process will begin; we'll remind you about it again here.

If you're interested in keeping up with the nominations, watch lj_election_en. We'll post the results and announce the winner by the end of the day on May 30th. The new user-representatives will be seated on June 1st. Further details can also be found in lj_2008.

Clinton wins Indiana by less than two percent. Obama wins North Carolina by fifteen. A lot of people in the mainstream media are coming out and saying that we all but have our presumptive nominee, and not just Russert either.

There are six more contests left in the Democratic race: West Virginia, Kentucky, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Montana and South Dakota. Clinton is a heavy favorite in the first two, but Obama should have the pledged delegates clinched with Oregon on May 20, and expect the deluge of superdelegates going his way very soon.

Well this has been one hell of a race. This one went to gave seven and triple overtime. And I'm glad it's almost over, because it's wearing a lot of us out. We still got the general elections in November. But this marathon has proven something: Americans still care about their government. You don't get turnouts like this in any regular primary/caucus season.

Maybe the Republicans will have a battle like this in 2012, but I doubt it'll happen since so many states and territories are winner-take-all, but that might change, who knows.

But all this needs to be put in perspective. Tens of thousands are dead in Myanmar/Burma from that cyclone, for one thing. The last thing on the minds of millions right now is American politics.